SCANDAL! CONTROVERSY! SHAME!

Folks, we have a full blown scandal on our hands!  Yesterday, with pure pleasure I showed you that yours truly was a topic of conversation on the eTopps message board.  At least, my blog was.  Those of you who have followed my blog know that I have been a champion of eTopps from the get-go, and even when I was aggravated with them, I acknowledged that their product was fantastic.   I’ve even sent several of you your first eTopps cards through trades and answered questions on how the program works.  So I was very excited to see that my little blog had become visible to some of the heavy hitters in the eTopps world.  I posted the discussion thread yesterday, and last night there were a few additional comments that I didn’t capture.  I think one guy took me seriously when I said I was “the greatest blogger who ever lived.”  But that was fine too. 

So I was anxious this morning to see what, if any, new comments had been posted on this thread before interest in it dried up.  I clicked the link and….nothing.  The post about my blog was gone!

I was pretty confused.  Why would that thread be removed by the moderator?  It surely couldn’t have been because of a perception that I was anti-eTopps.   There are far worse things said about eTopps on the message boards than anything I’ve ever said.  I’ve never referred to anyone at eTopps as “monkeys.”  Maybe they didn’t like me posting their ridiculous response to myquestion a few weeks ago.  But my posts are typically positive.  Perhaps there is a guideline against linking to other websites?  I don’t know, but, whatever the reason, the thread was gone.   My new ally in the eTopps world, Diamondjake, was also incredulous.  He later this morning posted a follow up thread:  “Wow…. Really?”  I took a screen shot again in case eTopps censors this one too:

I haven’t been this interested in the eTopps message board since (inside eTopps reference) Boysofsummer was an active member and stirred things up.  

This is not the first scandal associated with this blog.  Let’s revisit the top 5 scandals in Napkin Doon History:

1)       Mystery of the Vanishing eTopps Message Thread.  So scandalous.

2)      Chicago Dog Temporarily Closes During The First Annual Napkin Doon Northwest Arkansas Hot Dog Tournament.   Maybe there was more to this than meets the eye?  Was their foul play involved?  We may never know.

3)      LostCollector Raises a Ruckus.  Everyone’s favorite new daddy couldn’t get a hold of himself when I made an executive decision regarding White Oak’s offering in the Hot Dog Tournament. 

4)      Death of the Doonboggle.   I was actually pretty pleased with my Doonboggle concept, but it never caught on, mostly because of Eric from Manupatches and Mustaches.  It was his  fault.

5)      Top 5 Scandal list only had 4 scandals.  I could only think of 4 things, but had already said this would be a top 5 list.  So that’s a scandal in itself.

My God, blogging is fun.

The 2011 Napkin Doon Hot Dog Tournament Championship!

It’s over!  Today, the final match-up of my hotdog contest, featuring Five Guys Burgers vs. White Oak Station,  was held on a kitchen counter in a quiet neighborhood in Northwest Arkansas.   

The sky was overcast and gloomy, but that didn’t dampen the electricity in the air.  Fresh off of watching Nelson Cruz’s walk off grand slam Monday night,  and with the anticipation of attending an auction at Cleve’s tonight, I thought I should make the day even more special and wrap up my hot dog contest.  Since both final contestants are in close proximity to each other, I decided the best, fairest way to handle this round was to pick both hot dogs up and bring them both home during lunch today.  I was so nervous; I couldn’t concentrate on work all morning.  This ranked just below the births of my children and right above my wedding day as the most important, profound, dignified day of my life.

Here are the contestants, side by side. 

 I was baffled when I opened the Five Guys dog, and it once again looked like they had forgotten the relish.  Thankfully, it was in there this time.  The lovely wife thought the neon green Chicago Style relish on the White Oak Station Dog looked disgusting.  I thought it was gorgeous.  Speaking of the lovely wife, I asked for her input on this contest and she agreed to try each one. 

I flipped a coin and tried the White Oak Dog first.  Stupendous!  They put their best foot forward on this day, and served up a real winner:  fresh bread, outstanding condiments and a superb frank.

Five Guys was next.  Unbelieveably good again!  Even fresher, softer bread, outstanding condiments, and a perfect frank, deep fried with slightly crisp outer edges. 

The lovely wife and I were in agreement:  wonderful effort from White Oak Station, but Five Guys has once again triumphed!

Congratulations Five Guys!  You are the winner of the first and only Napkin Doon Hot Dog Tournament Championship!

 

Thank God this is over!  Maybe a year from now I will do something similar.  There are a lot of good places to get chicken fried steak around here…

Blog Dog Semifinal Match 2: An Injury On The Field!

I knew this hot dog competition would be intense, but I wasn’t expecting one of the contestants to sustain a serious injury during it.  More on that later.

Yes, I have put this little project to the side for a bit, but that is mostly due to a very hectic work/travel schedule these past 3 weeks.  But I hadn’t forgotten about it, and was kind of excited to pick back up where I left off, which was semifinal match #2:  Five Guys Burgers vs. Chicago Dog.  The contest between these two is probably the de facto championship, since I can’t imagine either of them losing to White Oak Station.  But, as we’ve seen before, and as you'll see in this round, ANYTHING can happen in an amateur baseball card blogger’s regional hot dog tournament.  ANYTHING.

Five Guys was up first.  I placed my order online (the absolute best way to avoid the ridiculous lines that are still occurring at the Five Guys here).  One hot dog:  regular mustard, regular relish.  No more, no less.  The lovely wife picked it up on her way home from shopping.  I sat down, peeled back the foil, with much the same anticipation I sense when I peel back the wrapper on a pack of cards, and…

No relish.   I checked the receipt, and there was “relish” listed plain as day.  I looked at my hot dog again.  No freaking relish.  What a boneheaded move Five Guys!  Well, this did not bode well for them, who I  considered a favorite to win this tournament.   I went ahead and ate it, since I just don’t want to keep dragging this series out.   To me, it was like sending out your starting 9, but forgetting to field a shortstop.   You can do it, but you are going to suffer for it eventually.  And no, Lost Collector, this wasn’t the same situation as what occurred at White Oak in the other semifinal.  Don’t ask me to explain why, it just wasn’t.   

Yes, the hot dog, even with only mustard,  was  $&@*%-ing  delicious.  But Chicago Dog now had a total cake walk toward a championship match  against White Oak, and likely just were handed the crown by Five Guys because of an unforced error.

Today at lunch, I decided to drive over to Chicago Dog and get this formality out of the way.  I was very much looking forward to another Chicago Dog hot dog I must say.  I parked, walked up to the front door and saw:

One of the most unbelievable turn of events in the history of amateur baseball card blogger hot dog tournaments!  What a shame for Chicago Dog, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.  I’m a patient guy, but I am not waiting until November 1 to resume this tournament.  Five Guys wins, and will face White Oak Station for the first and only Napkin Doon Hot Dog Tournament Championship.   Will Five Guys shoot themselves in the foot again?  Will White Oak pull the upset?  Hold onto your butts everybody!

Blog Dog Championship Semifinal:

Sam’s Club vs. White Oak Station

The votes are in as to whether or not I should continue my hot dog tournament.  You have spoken, and I am your humble servant.  I wish I knew who the lone dissenter was who voted for me to stop doing this so I could thank them for trying.  The rest of you don’t know what you are putting me through. 

Sam’s Club- 2^nd Dog

I don’t know why I keep forgetting to take a picture of the outside of Sam’s.  I assume you all know what one looks like?  Sam’s Club put on a scintillating performance in round one, and may have won the overall competition had I not been urged to hold a second round.  I was actually looking forward to my second dog at Sam’s as I handed over my $1.50 +tax and took my huge fountain drink and Nathan’s dog to my seat.  Here was the offering for round two:

Uh….  I guess that’s why we needed to play this out.  This was ok, but not nearly as good as the round 1 dog.  The bread was kind of stale, and the relish had a strange taste to it.  If this had been the round one dog, it would not have beat out the $12 Kobe beef dog at Tusk and Trotter.   Stale buns seem to be the downfall for many of these entrants.   The favorite going into the semifinals is now in big, big trouble.  White Oak Station is going to have to really mess up to lose this one.

White Oak Station- 2^nd Dog

I had to improvise slightly for this contestant, although it was not my fault.  I went in for lunch to White Oak Station, ready to get my dog and wrap up this first semifinal.  However, there were no hot dog holders left, and only two pitiful franks in the warming bin.    I really didn’t want to mess around asking for a container, so I decided to try the smaller White Oak Station nearer my office.  I would have gone to that location for round one as well, but it is smaller and not as nice as the one you saw in round one.  Only the best will do for my hot dog tournament.  I suppose I could have waited another day and tried again at the first White Oak station, but I am travelling again this week, and I need to put this series out your misery.

Here was what I got at the supplemental White Oak Station:

It was pretty good.  Not great, but good enough to beat the substandard offering Sam’s Club gave me this round.    The bun was soft, the meat was just fine, (a bit salty) and the size was about as big as Sam’s Club. 

I sort of expected Sam’s to win this thing in a breeze after their the excellent first round dog, but that’s why you play the games.

White Oak Station goes into the championship against the winner of Five Guys/Chicago Dog. 

Blog Dog Championship Tourney Match #4

Welcome to the last match of round number one. 

Sam’s Club Vs. Tusk and Trotter

On paper this is a total mismatch.  In one corner is a hot dog I can get WITH a large fountain drink for $1.50.  The other is a $12 KOBE beef hot dog at one of the coolest restaurants in Northwest Arkansas.  This one should be easy.

Sam’s Club

I could spend $10,000 at a Sam’s Club without breaking a sweat.  Since I live in Walmart’s backyard, it should come as no surprise that the Sam’s Clubs around here are really nice.  The lovely wife and I love taking the kids to Sam’s on weekends and picking up some fruit, which is always good at Sam’s, and helping ourselves to all the samples that are being hocked all over the store.  Sam’s used to carry baseball cards, but I haven’t seen them offered for a long time. It’s probably just as well they don’t.  Sam’s has a nice little snack area, and offer a hot dog/soda combo for $1.50.  And it’s a Nathan’s Hot Dog.  And it’s a Jumbo Size:

And guess what?  So far, this may be the best hot dog I’ve had this whole tournament!  I’m sure if taking a picture of a stupid hot dog didn’t draw enough attention to me, my moans of ecstasy did.   This was so good I just wanted to run around the store and urge everyone else to go get a Sam’s hot dog.  And for $1.50?  I’m going to have this for lunch every day!    Tusk and Trotter, you are in big time trouble…

Fortunately for T&T, I had a few days between hot dogs to get over my euphoria over the Sam’s Club hot dog.  The lovely wife met me for lunch, and we sat down at one of our favorite new places around. 

This is a total guy’s restaurant.  So of course, there has to be a hot dog on the menu.  It’s an expensive hot dog, but a hot dog nonetheless.  Here is what a $12 hot dog looks like.

I have to admit, I was a little let down.  Don’t get me wrong, it was a superb hot dog.  The meat was out of this world, and the toppings were great, even though they didn’t exactly follow the mustard/relish guideline.  But the bread, while looking beautiful, was too dry for me.  I couldn’t tell if it was meant to be that way, or just stale.  Whatever, I didn’t like it.  

So, spread the news:  Sam’s Club $1.50 hot dog just beat a $12 Hot Dog at a top shelf restaurant.  This is going to send shockwaves through the blogging and foodie worlds, I can feel it.

Even though this round ended on such an exciting note, I can’t take another hot dog right now.    My guess is that those of you who read my blog would like me to move on to something else, too.    To complete this tournament properly, I would need two more rounds, which would mean 3 more match ups, and 6 more hot dogs.  I love hot dogs and I would like it to stay that way by not getting burned out on one of my favorite things.  Should I suck it up and figure out a champion?  I’ll post an anonymous poll question on the sidebar.    I will abide by whatever the results dictate I do.

Blog Dog Championship Tournament Match #3

Sonic vs. White Oak Station

I realized halfway into this tournament that I should not have  set up the brackets based on seeding from a selection committee (a committee of myself).  I should have paired the contestants off by restaurant type.  For example, I should have had White Oak Station and Kum and Go face off and see who has the best gas station hot dog.  Or Chicago Dog vs. Tusk and Trotter for Non Chain Restaurant, etc. etc.  But it’s too late now because I definitely not starting over.  This should be a tough match up this week, since I like hot dogs from both contestants.

I went to Sonic first.  Ahh Sonic…..  Did you know there are almost 400,000 drink combinations you can get at Sonic?  I remember I tried to embarrass the lovely wife one time by ordering something a 5 year old would want, like a Chocolate-Watermelon Coke or something that was pretty awful.     Every year my mother gives me a Sonic Gift Certificate, which I use up as fast as I possibly can.  But I digress.  On to the results:

Just a quick drive from my office, Sonic is a mini oasis for me.
Here was my dog.  The All American, with relish and mustard:

Superb!  The bun was really warm and soft.  Yes, I am secure enough in my manhood to discuss eating warm buns and juicy weenies with a straight face.    No, I’m not being defensive at all!   Get your heads out of the gutter!  So what if porno music started playing in my head while I watched the hot dog weenies rolling around, all oiled up on hot, long, hard rollers at Kum and Go?  That doesn't mean anything!  I like girls gosh darnit!

 Anyway, this contestant from Sonic was gone in 3 bites.   As a bonus, I decided to try the new bacon and blue cheese dog.  It sure was pretty:

But it was just ok.  I’ll stick with the All American or Chicago Dog when I go to Sonic.

Next up was White Oak Station.  

The rich man’s Kum and Go, White Oak Station is a very cool gas station.  It is part gas station, part gourmet market, part deli.  The hot dog was self serve, which neither adds nor detracts to its merit in my opinion.  I was a little miffed when  the freaking metal tongs scalded my fingers.  But I am a rugged individual, and I took it like a man.  Here was my dog…

Oh my, it was fantastic!  This matchup is close!  The White Oak Station dog was $2 more than the Sonic, but I have to disregard prices for the purposes of this tournament.   But I have to pick a winner so…

White Oak Station wins by a whisker!    Sonic I still love you, and will see you at our regularly scheduled time. Don’t be upset with me.

Next is the final matchup in round 1:  Sam's Club vs. Tusk and Trotter.  Polar opposites..

Blog Dog Championship Tournament Match #2

I have really been looking forward to this match up, because I have never been to Chicago Dog.  I’ve heard good things about it, even from people who are from Chicago.  Clearly, the signature item at this place is a Chicago style hot dog.  If I had my druthers, I would always get Chicago style hot dogs.  But for the purposes of this contest, I have to stick to a standard hot dog with mustard and relish to keep things even. 

Contestant #1- Chicago Dog Hot Dog

To help move along my silly little tournament, the lovely wife agreed to let me take the family to Chicago Dog Wednesday night for dinner.  It’s located in the downtown square, and is very quaint in my opinion.

I may have to check out the hot dog eating contest!



 This was the contest entry, and it was pretty darn good.  It didn't blow me away like I was expecting, but it was good.  After taking this dog down, temptation got the better of me and I decided to try the 1/3 pound Chicago Dog:

Holy Crap!  Good thing this wasn't allowed in the contest or it would be over now.  Culinary gold!

I think I found a second home.  Besides Cleve's of course.  But Back Yard Burger will only go up against the standard hot dog from Chicago Dog, and we might be looking at an upset... 

Back Yard Burger

I will admit, BYB was at a bit of a disadvantage.  I had both kids Sunday night, while the lovely wife was out carousing with her hooligan friends.  And both kids decided this was the night to show daddy their whole asses.  The older one wanted Taco Bell for dinner and the baby wanted ice cream  ("I want ice ceem right now!").  Actually, the older one wanted Chic Fil A, and when I explained that they aren't open on Sundays, it lead to a minor inquisition of sorts and somehow we worked our way to discussing the finer points of the Reformation.  I kid.   But, I wasn’t in the mood to go inside, so I ordered drive through.  Back Yard Burger hamburgers are so freaking good, I hoped they would have a good showing with their hot dogs and put me in a better frame of mind.  But, I got a bratwurst from them a month or so ago and was severely let down.  Here was the hot dog:

This contest was over after the first bite.  Yuck.  The bread was stale and the meat was tasteless.  I didn't even finish it.  Chicago Dog takes advantage of a poor showing from Back Yard Burger and moves to round two. 

Next contest:

White Oak Station vs. Sonic