Ranger Hits... And No Misses

Someone put together a Napkin Doon dream lot on eBay a few weeks ago, and thank god for us all, I won it.

It included a nice big handful of Ranger hits, including my first ever Yu Darvish relic:

Yeah, it's an all star game jersey, but so what?  My first Darvish relic!

The lot also included a pair of Heritage relics, including my main man Adrian Beltre.  I look at these and can't decide if they are boring or not. 

Two more of my favorites- Nelson Cruz and Ian Kinsler.  The Kinsler card is really sharp, and I love the blue swatch.

The lot also included one auto- David Murphy.

Finally, there were a few nice regular cards in the lot, including a gold parallel Elvis Andrus rookie, and some minor league cards of Jurickson Profar and Ian Kinsler.

My kind of lot!

A Trade with The Don

I recently completed my first trade with the Don of trading- Wicked Ortega.  I was a little nervous to be honest with you.  I didn’t want to end up like this poor bastard.

I think in my short time as a blogger that was hands down the greatest post I’ve read yet.  I would LOVE to tell someone I am going to rip their heart out of their chest and I’ve often wondered about the art of doing such a thing.   I'd probably find a way to mess it up.   What if you couldn’t get a grip of the heart?  Would you leave your hand in there and feel around until you had it, or would you just immediately pull your hand out and pretend all you meant to do was pierce your opponent’s chest?  What is the threshold of time you leave your hand in the body cavity before you start to look uncool?  Would you worry about your hand getting tangled in all the veins? And wouldn’t you be worried about cutting your wrists against the rib bone fragments that you just created?  I assume rib bones would be sharp.   Maybe pulling out someone's throat would be the way to go instead.  I saw Patrick Swayze do it on Roadhouse so I know that's a real thing.

Man, what a cool way to die!  If I knew I only had 24 hours to live, I might try to find a ninja (or Wicked Ortega) and ask him to rip my heart from my chest.  Actually, I haven’t put much thought into ways I would like to die.    However, I have given considerable thought to what I would like done with my remains when it does happen.  Would you like to know?  Sure you would:

1)      Krispy Kremated:  If Krispy Kreme would allow it, I would like them to run my body through their donut conveyor belt.  I would get deep fried, flipped, deep fried some more, and then my body would slowly roll under the glaze waterfall.  Then they could put me in a casket.

2)      Doon Chipper: I would like my body to be slowly rolled into a wood chipper that was pointing out into a lake or ocean.

It will be one of those two ways, mark my words.

Until then, I will enjoy the cards that the Don sent, and sleep with one eye open if I hear he is upset with me.

This sweet David Murphy auto/patch card was my main part of the trade.  I don't have any relics or autos of the plucky Murphy, and this card is just awesome.  But the Don wasn't done yet:

He also sent a big pile of Rangers cards, and these were some of my favorites.    The Cruz and Young Heritage cards are both numbered refractors, and are incredible cards.  Like how I scanned the Feliz card on the bottom row upside down?

Thank you for the trade Don Ortega, you truly are an all time great!