Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Available Now: DoonDiscs

Feeling a little lethargic towards your baseball card blog lately?  Can’t seem to find inspiration for that next post?  Don’t feel like scanning yet another Allen & Ginter card?

Fret no more friends, your problems could possibly be over!  Introducing DoonDiscs ™, a legitimately randomly provoked conceptual specified beingness product designed to enrich your life force and fulfill applicable tendencies.

Simply by applying DoonDiscs ™ to your skin, your blogging perhaps will come free and easy, and at a high level of aptitude.  LiquidNapkin ™ technology has been embedded into each disc, encouraging rapid movement in your brains creative neurobules.  Relaxed and refreshed and creative- that is how you might feel.
After trying our discs and allowing your mind to be easily persuaded, you might discover that DoonDiscs ™  are indispensable for relieving stress and fatigue from your blogging mind. Doon Discs come in three mind numbingly cool designs.    In all aspects of baseball card blogging – thinking about baseball cards and writing about baseball cards – DoonDiscs can help maximize your potential creativity and interestingness. This is why so many top bloggers will consider using NapkinDoon ™  products.

We’ve customized 3 different styles of DoonDiscs ™ to maybe pinpoint specific blogging challenges:

  • Standard Disc:  This is the original DoonDisc and is designed to help all aspects of blogging.

(Note: These are factory prototypes and centering will be corrected on first official production run)

Each DoonDisc is thoroughly processed through our 3 step neurobule enhancing rigmarole. 
  1. Each DoonDisc is pressed between two of my little boy’s toy magnets.  The magnetic force is captured between the fibers of the DoonDisc ™  and ready to be released into your body upon application.  The effect this will have upon your body is uncertain, but we are quite certain it is at least harmless, and perhaps even beneficial.
  2. Then DoonDiscs ™ are gently nestled overnight in the middle of “Blood Meridian” by Cormac McCarthy, the greatest book ever written.  Through osmorpedosis, the words and writing style of this masterpiece will absorb into each DoonDisc and will then release into your body upon application. 
  3. Finally, each DoonDisc is spritzed with Lysol. Lysol, along with the magnetic force and Cormac McCarthly words is the heart of LiquidNapkin ™ technology.  The rest is a company secret, but I assure you it is nothing gross or untoward.
Placement of DoonDiscs is left entirely to the discretion of each individual.    Our researchers interviewed several meth addicts as to which areas of the body were most conducive to absorbing substances, and apparently there are no bad places.  “Under the tongue” was a popular response, but your DoonDisc will quickly lose stickiness if applied to this area, plus the Lysol spray will not taste good.

For a limited time, DoonDiscs ™ are available free to followers of this blog.  If you wish to be a better blogger or a better person in general please accept a sample of DoonDiscs ™ with our compliments.  Please leave a comment on this post and tell me which style DoonDisc ™ you would like.  Then please send me your address, along with a reminder of the DoonDiscs ™ you want by email to Napkindoon@gmail.dotcom.


The Lost Collector said...

I don't have much inspiration lately, so I may go for a set of Standard DoonDiscs.

I'll store them on the shelves next to my Slap Chop, Flex Seal, and Pajama Jeans.

Justin McLeod said...

I too would like a standard set of Doon Discs to help in all aspects of my blogging.

Dhoff said...

I could use one of each. I might chop them up and snort them for a little quicker of a kick.

Blood Meridian, nice choise, man. Have you read George Saunders? This post is wonderfully reminiscient of him.

BA Benny said...

I can use a set of standard discs. I will also take the others if you have extra, different discs for different days.

Josh D. said...

I will refuse to believe that these work until they are endorsed by a third-tier MLB player.

Napkin Doon said...

Discs are on the way fellas! Josh, I do have a MLB player as a sponser, but he wishes to remain anonymous. Your discs are on the way whether you like it or not.

Napkin Doon said...

LC, you wear them, you don't store them.

Josh D. said...

"Doon Discs: Don't you DARE call them POGS!"

The Dimwit said...

Who WOULDN'T want a Doon Disc??? Standard for me, if other happen to jump into the envelope, I promise not to send them back! Haha! I do believe you have my Mobile, AL address...

Napkin Doon said...

I do Sam. Your discs are on the way and soon all of your wildest dreams will come true.

Josh D. said...