Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Trash Wax

In the time honored tradition of Zero Heroes, Garbage Pail Kids and Wacky Packages, I present to you
"The Trash Pack"- showcasing some of the greatest works of art known to cardboard- at least according to my 6 year old boy:

Yes, I bought cards for my 6 year old son that included a picture of a man's hairy, pimply ass.  And thanks to the painstakingly exquisite detail of this art, you will note that it appears the man has soiled himself.

....and the Father of the Year goes to.....

Oh, I've got more to show you.  Let's see another hairy butt:

This one has ants crawling on it.  I'm not sure I understand the story here though.  Why is the guy eating a sandwich facing the wall?  He seems to be scared, yet not surprised that there is a giant ant leader guy in his pants, watching him.  I'm wondering if there are several layers of subversion on this card that I can't deconstruct.  Either that, or the card is just stupid.

This one is a little disturbing on a visceral level:

This involves a little too much pain for my tastes.  I'd rather see these tortures and miseries applied to inanimate objects.

Ah, much better.  This iron has slime and snot all over it and is clearly not up to pressing clothes.  I sell irons, so this one actually cracked me up a little bit.  How about some more?

Fantastic!  I think we can all get behind a camera puking up cheese blocks and a miserable dog house with a miserable dog in it's mouth.  And a steaming dog turd in the yard.

What's wrong with me?  Buying this crap for a 6 year old?  I got him some of the Trash Pack figures (oh yes, there are little figures you can buy as well) too.  WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME?

I doubt he asks for any more of these things, as he does not seem to have inherited my accumulation/ collecting gene.  Which will probably serve him well.

1 comment:

The Lost Collector said...

Got any dupes you can send my one year old?