Saturday, August 20, 2011

Blog Dog Championship Tournament: Match 1

Five Guys vs Kum and Go
This has massacre written all over it.  First, let’s meet the first contestant, seed #8, Kum and Go Hot Dog. 
Yes, this little convenient store with the filthy name had the odds stacked against it. 

Here was my hot dog, spinning around on rollers with his brothers and sisters and cheddar brat cousins, oblivious to his impending doom.   After dressing it up with mustard and relish (the standard condiments I will give every hot dog in this contest to keep it fair) this is what my $1.59 got me:
And do you know what?  It was EXCELLENT!   The bun was soft, the meat was plump and juicy (no dirty jokes please) and the condiments were just fine for coming out of a bottle on the counter.  I have no complaints about this hot dog!  An impressive start to the competition, and Five Guys had better have their act together, or they are in big trouble.
So let’s see if Five Guys answered the bell.
There was a noticeable tension in the air behind the counter at Five Guys as I ordered my hot dog for $3.99.    Were they aware of what had happened earlier in the day at Kum and Go?  I don’t know, but here is what they served up:
Uh oh, not too impressive looking.  Could it be possible that a hot dog from a Five Guys Burgers, an establishment just recently featured in Bloomberg Businessweek, could lose to a place called Kum and Go, who was featured in Maxim Magazine's "Found Porn" segment?  Let's see....

Ok, Kum and Go, it’s time to go… home.  This Five Guy hot dog makes a man want to slap his mamma!   The bun was warm and fresh and the meat was deep fried and had an audible snap when I bit into it.  This deep fried hot dog may just roll through the competition like it rolled through my bowels this evening.  What a freaking masterpiece!

Round one result:  Despite a valiant effort by Kum and Go, it’s hot dog was simply outclassed.  But don’t worry, Kum and Go.  You’ve earned my trust and respect, and I will be seeing you again soon.  But the moment belongs to Five Guys, so congrats to them!
Next round:  Chicago Dog vs. Back Yard Burger


Ryan G said...

Kum and Go must be the backwoods version of 7-Eleven? Or QuikTrip? I remember going to QuikTrip and grabbing a 2/$2 pair of hot dogs, dressing them up like that, and enjoying them at the high school baseball game. There's nothing wrong with the cheapies, as long as they're cooked properly.

Good to hear that the Five Guys dog is decent. A place that focuses so much on burgers usually doesn't have outstanding anything-else.

This has to be one of the most fun series you're writing.

The Lost Collector said...

It was tough for me to continue reading after seeing the name of the convenience store. I plugged through and enjoyed this. I want to mail you a Davy's Dog for the competition, so look for it in our next trade package.

Napkin Doon said...

AJ, I imagine there are numerous hot dogs in the NYC area that would dominate this contest.