Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Stained Glass Rangers- And A Lovely Birthday Wish

I picked these up off eBay the other day:

They look like stained glass, and I feel very spiritual when I look at them.

Or maybe I feel this way because today is a great day?  You know why?  It’s the lovely wife’s birthday!  We’ve been married for… not really sure how long, but it’s been a long, long, long time.  At least it seems that way, er, I mean it has gone by so fast!  It seems like just yesterday that I met her.  I’ll never forget it either.

It was a perfect fall evening, just like tonight, and I was dining at Red Lobster with a friend of mine.  At the time Red Lobster was running an “All You Can Eat” Crab Legs special.  My friend and I had a few plates and were stuffed.  We were about to leave when I noticed a beautiful girl sitting across the restaurant.  She was partaking in the crab leg special and just would not stop eating them.  She kept shoveling them in, plate after plate.  Good thing she was wearing a bib, because she was getting food everywhere.  You would have thought she was in a speed eating contest with those things.  She wouldn’t let the waiter take the shells away either, and had them stacked in a huge mound on her table.  I heard her say something about sending a message to her enemies or something.   Anyway, she must have had at least 15 plates of crab legs and didn’t appear to be slowing down.  Finally, the manager came out and tried to tell her enough was enough.   I could see the rage in her eyes.  With cat-like reflexes, she broke her beer bottle on the table edge and swiftly moved behind the manager and put the broken bottle to his neck.  “You better check my record.  'All you can eat' means 'all you can eat', bub” she whispered in his ear.  “Are we clear?”

The manager nodded and she let him go.  She probably had another 10 plates or so before she finally let out a blood curdling howl and stood up from her table.  She sort of stumbled, but steadied herself and prissed out of the restaurant.  I was smitten.   I chased her out of the restaurant and asked her for her number.  She vomited on my shoes and looked me in the eyes.   She was about to say something, but didn't.  I didn't say anything either.  Finally, ignoring the vomit remnants on her chin and the inexplicable pieces of crab meat in her hair, I grabbed her and kissed her.  We fell in love right there in the Red Lobster parking lot and it’s been bliss ever since.

Ok, so maybe some of the above isn’t true (she does like to tell people to  “check her record”), but in fact I did fall in love with her quickly, and it has been bliss ever since.

 Happy birthday my darling!


carlsonjok said...

How cliché.

Hackenbush said...

I'm sure she's flattered by your story. :)

Play at the Plate said...

Beautiful Rangers...even better story.